Maltitol

Like Tyler, I ran into an ex last night too-- Chocolate. We were on my home turf, Trader Joe's, so I'd been pretty comfortable. I played it cool, but I couldn't lie that I was a little stirred. I'd had a stressful day. "You look good." I said.

"I've changed since you've been gone." Chocolate replied.

"What's that-- sugar free? Interesting."

Maltitol? Never heard of it. The packaging said it doesn't require the amount of insulin sugar does, and it doesn't cause the same fast spike in blood sugar that most other sweeteners, including hippie sugar like agave, cause.

So I bought it and had a bite. And you'll never believe-- it tasted good, sure. But going so long without any sweets, for me, the former Choco fiend who could down copious amounts of the stuff-- it was too sweet. I was dunzo after 2 bites. Like most times when you hook up with an old flame, soon after the enjoyment, all the reasons you left come back to you.

So I'm over it, even this new, allegedly healthier version. Fool me once, shame on you...